Firstly and rightfully, the most commonly used search term is…

• op vistars

Apparently we’re not the only ones who are baffled by the cryptic OP Vistars page. Next we present some ROOT-related searches, not all of which are complimentary:

• fuck you root cern
• root ugly plots
• root cern ugly
• cern root evil
• root cern sucks
• root cern design ugly
• you are the roots of all my evils
• root of all evil cern
• root of all my frustrations
• blinding data cern root

The following searches give us insight as to how the general public views CERN:

• cern and time rifts
• cern to open dimensional rift
• cern broke nov 2009
• cern diamonds
• cern dog
• cern monorail
• plumbing at cern
• cern bufet
• cern swirls
• working at cern boring

Whatever CERN may be, it sure as hell isn’t “boring” and I am disgusted that anyone would type this into Google, and that Google would lead them here. Next, the obligatory potty-related searches:

• cern swiss urine
• lavabo love
• urine and hand washing
• liquid drip when toilet
• hand washing proper sign with foot pedal type

I would really like to know what these people were looking for. On second thought, I really don’t want to know. Here are a few more miscellaneous gems:

• motombo love
• shitty geneva studio
• spiderman+physics+analysis
• how i did not find love
• throbbing eyeball
• what is love half life
• porn love.org

I am completely unable to explain or categorize this one:

• you plote

And all you faithful Spanish readers out there, we love you! if we ever translate CERN Love into other languages, Spanish will be the first:

• blog del cern en español